John Chapter 20🙏

May 4, 2023

Continued from It’s About to Get Real Personal 💖

One sits amongst the thorns weeping

Vulnerable in her grief…Jesus comes in peace.

Another hides locked away

Grieving. Anxious and afraid…yet Jesus still comes in peace.

Does it matter how we grieve?

Or simply that

We grieve.

The way to freedom is the same for all.

Be still.

Be transformed.


To be continued.

©️NZain 🌷

It’s About to Get Real Personal 💖

April 23, 2023

There are amongst us, (certain)

Individuals who

Because of adverse childhood experiences and

Patterning; learned to

Create “artificial conflict” in their intimate relationships–

As a way of maintaining a safe distance between themselves and their partners.

This is of course to protect their own self interests.

In these never-ending conflicts

There is no hope of healthy resolution.

No repairing of tears.

No coming together in solidarity for the purpose of

Deepening the connection and strengthening the bond.

No understanding.

No compassion.

No authenticity or trust.

No. Real. Joy.

As for the person on the receiving end of this crazy-making behavior?

This is my personal story. These are the hard lessons I learned through life, love, death and divorce. Perhaps you can relate.

To be continued…

©️NZain 2023 💖

As always dear reader, your comments, insights and criticisms are respectfully welcome here.

I Am Not The Source…✨

February 26, 2023

I am not the source. The Source is within me. If you look to me, I will only reflect back what is already inside of you.

Turn within, towards your heart and sense the same Spirit given to us all by Christ Immanuel (my Beloved brother) Jesus who knew the pain of a heart broken by betrayal and also the enduring love of forgiveness who said, “Forgive one another…”

There is one who would, in your grief and a hopelessness, offer you a cloak of shadows to cover your pain and hide your broken heart from God. This is a lie. For we are told God is near the broken hearted…

…within our hearts calling to us, “My beloved son! My beloved daughter! Here am I always with you! Never will I leave you.”

Who can hide from God?

Take off the cloak, give it back to the devil and say, “Here is your shadow-self returned to you and for a little while rest quietly in the darkness until even you are returned to the Source of Light that is All loving and All forgiving.

We are all a part of the story of mankind and of human kindness; held forever in the mysterious hands that create, sustain and destroy in order to create again and again…and again.

Sense your own mysterious hands touching the broken heart of another. Sense the sharp edges that cut deep through the layers upon layers of pain. Hold this pain tenderly, softly just as you yourself are being held. Stay with the pain…sense The God who has the power to heal within you loving wholeheartedly!

All loving and All forgiving.

I am not the source. The Source is within me. Always near calling my name, “Turn within towards Me that I may shine My Light on your face and you may reflect My Love and forgiveness onto the broken-hearted that they may also re-turn towards Me!”

Past the shadows

Through the pain

Into the place where

Love calls us each by name–

“Here I am waiting for you to receive All that I have to give you! My Child, open your hands…”

Enter in.


In the Center of the Center…💘

February 19, 2023

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit, a broken and contrite heart–these O God you will not despise. Psalm 51:17

In the center of the center

In the center of your heart

Is a place so secret where

Love is revealed.

In this meeting place where

Matter joins with Spirit

In the center of the center

In the center of my heart

I know that I know

The face of God is revealed

Everywhere and to everyone who seeks deep

Within the center of their center in the center of their hearts.

Says the Lord:

I will put my law in their center and write it over their hearts; and I will be their God and they will be my people. Jeremiah 31:33

NZain 🌱

In Between Your Words…

January 29, 2023

In between your words and

The meaning left behind them–

I took a trip around the world landing in

Exactly the same spot!

Who said,

“You’re broken!

And as for being “unredeemable”

I am here to tell you,

You’re loved.”

Beyond measure. Perhaps beyond reason. But

That’s the beauty of love! Love doesn’t need a reason.

Maybe that’s why we’re so afraid of love…we can’t control what

Love does or doesn’t

Do. We’re powerless over love…and so

We grieve when we think love is lost. But

How can love ever be lost when love

Is right here right now always transforming moment by

Moment in the space between your words and their meaning;

We are never separated from LOVE! Ever.

And yet…in this pain so deep and unspeakably real; there is a

Profound truth and beauty in grief.

When I say the words, “I love you” I mean that

I hold your pain close to my heart as a tiny creature to be cared for.

Do you get the picture?

I also long to hear the same words “I love you” from someone who

Means what he says…but maybe that’s just too much to ask of another.

I asked God to hold my pain. And

This is how I say to you will full confidence,

You are loved.”


In This Garden of My Heart…💖

January 22, 2023

Galatians 5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, faithfulness, kindness, goodness…

In this garden of my heart

You are here, shovel on hand.

Together, we have much work to do.

Digging deep, pulling out weeds of past

Memories, composting the hurt–pain

Becoming fertilizer for the seeds of

Spirit to grow up out of

These ashes which is

All that remains of what used to be–You

Died for me…so I could live

Here in this garden with You and

For all eternity

Tend to your trees.

“Grief accomplishes a healing work”*

And seeds hold the hope and expectation of fruit.

My joy is in the ripening.


* Donna Winship

“You are My Beloved…”

November 27, 2022

She was given a precious gift, which she would not receive. In her closed fist, she could not hold the warmth of its love. She struggled (in vain) against the weight of its truth…

Until one day–

She dropped (all pretenses) down to her skinned knees and let go (in a flood of tears) a heavy burden she had carried for so long.

And in exchange–

She received (finally and without much effort) the precious gift she had always longed for.

True Love so strong lifted her up (gracefully and effortlessly) to a place higher than her own fears.

A quiet place of perfect peace where The Source of All Love flows from an infinite spring (unsullied and unhurried…)

And in the stillness of her mind,

she heard clearly the sweet voice of God

(arising from the wounds of her heart)


“You are My Beloved…”

NZain. 💓

Seems I am not yet able to respond to your lovely comments. Technical glitch. Do know however, I am always so grateful to read each and every kind word expressed and shared here by each and every one of You!

Please keep sharing! What do you hear the voice of God say to you?

With so much love and gratitude,

Nina 🤗

If Only…One Day.

November 12, 2022

While speaking to a friend about loved ones who have passed, I asked him:

“What question would you ask God?” My friend wanted to know why God took the best of us–the ones he loved most.

Why is a mystery.

Sadness stings the heart

Memories when we were young

If only…one day.

Dear Lord,
My friend has a question for You.
He wants to know why
Is the sky blue?
The depths of Your love revealed
In butterfly wings
Your mystery concealed.

What would You have him know about the best of us who must ALL follow our own paths back to You…in ways and times that seem as unlikely as a caterpillar flying?

Lord, I confess the longing in my heart if only…one day to be with my friends and family again whom I miss—in my struggle here separated on earth—while they are at rest united with You in a place I hear is called Heaven.

And how would You have me live today to be of comfort and joy for a world so desperately in need of what was lost…and stolen from us?

In silence I listen, for the voice of God speaks softly to me ever present like the wind…

Like the wind, the Spirit blows where it will (see John 3:8).

Please share your thoughts. As always, I appreciate you!


Y Por Eso Rezo…And For This I Pray 🙏🏻

October 8, 2022

Sometimes, I find expressing my heart in Spanish to be a little softer. English translation follows.

He asked Her:

“¿por que tenes miedo?”

en mi corazón hay pasión y dolor
amor y miedo
alegría y tristeza…
así es la vida

mi corazón es poderosa
intensa sensual
amable… independiente

en mi matrimonio sufrí abuso intimo… él no podría amar todo de mí…no respetó mi cuerpo

y las palabras no coincidían con sus acciones

“Las personas dañadas lastiman a las personas”


hablo las palabras…y siento
la picadura
como un escorpion…en mi corazón…

porque recuerdo cuando el amor era dulce.

mis ojos estan llagria… el que no puede amarse a si mismo no puede amar a otro…

él no era un mal hombre … simplemente fuera de contacto consigo mismo


mi corazón está sanando…suave y lentamente
…quiero todo de amor.

¡Quiero sonreír para volver
a reír… y cantar!
mi corazón quiere bailar…
mi cuerpo quiere moverse
con un hombre
pero solo cuando hay confianza… respeto y amor…amistad.

las emociones de una mujer son difíciles de entender…habrá dificultades.

el corazón debe expresarse la…tensión es inevitable… pero podemos besarnos y reconciliarnos?

no quiero arrepentimientos

porque tú, querido, me inspiras—

mis instintos me preguntan:

¿Puedo confiar en que un hombre se mantendrá firme y enfrentará su propio miedo?

sólo el y Dios sabe la respuesta
y por eso rezo.

He asked Her:

“why are you afraid?”

in my heart there is passion and painlove and fearhappiness and sadness...this is life

my heart is powerfulintensely sensualfriendly...independent
in my marriage I suffered intimate abuse...he couldn't love everything about me...he didn't respect my bodyand his words did not matchhis actions

"Hurt people hurt people"


I speak the words...and I feelThe stinglike a my heart...because I remember when love was eyes are tearful... he who cannot love himself cannot love another...he wasn't a bad man...just out of touch with himself


my heart is healing...gently and slowly...I want all of love.

I want to smile again
to laugh... and sing!my heart wants to body wants to movewith a manonly when there is trust... respect and love... friendship.

a woman's emotions are difficult to understand...there will be difficulties.the heart must express itself... tension is inevitable... but can we kiss and reconcile?I don't want regretsbecause you, dear, inspire me—

my instincts ask me:

Can I trust a man to stand his ground and face his own fear?

only he and God knows the answerand for this I pray.--

©️2022 NZain

I love and appreciate when you share your thoughts in the comments!