Afterward

1-19-19

“I like it.” He said. “It’s like you’re writing in code.”

“Did it make you blush?” I asked.

“Yeah, but in a good way…”

1-2-19

This is difficult for me to say:

So please

Just bare

With me.

I’m not looking for a fight, and

I don’t want you to

Think

I’m attacking you.

I’m not…

I need space.

Time alone.

Not from you—but from myself.

Most of the time I feel content.

Safe. Happy.

(Sometimes—I can’t explain it–

maybe hormones, maybe

years of abuse

working it’s way out?)

But–

I need to be alone.

I’ll actually feel physically sick—

You don’t

want to

see it.

Trust me.

The energy builds

And wipes me out.

I have

to close

my eyes

and rest…

Rest until

the feeling

settles down.

It’s not serious.

It’s weird.

Sometimes—

I may cry just a little.

Maybe it’s normal?

I always feel better afterward and happy to see you again.

1-19-19

Please forgive my errors. I am still learning. And practicing.

Song For My Unborn Child

пані америка

Ukie жінка

вродлива лековажна жінка

жалюгідна жінка

меленький метелик

моя душа українська страждає.

тане… я не розумію чому ми воюємо.

вони взяли з ферма діда. вони спалили дім бабусі. вона плаче…

однак я не ненавиджу вас.

я твоя сестра!

ти пам’ятаєш наша червона кров наше походження змішалися разом завтовшки?

що шкодує!

може вода очистити нашу ганбу. і я можу назвіть вас моїм братом наново.

ом мур мур вічний мур.

Author: NZain

Survivor in training.

10 thoughts on “Afterward”

  1. As I have gone along with you on this literal journey and reflect back from Chapter 1 to now all I think about is this would make a very inspiring movie…”Growing Up Side ways…” and the theme song or main track would be this song … “Your Story”

    (Check this out on Youtube…I think you would enjoy this…)

    Liked by 4 people

  2. There are days like that but what matters is that you made it! and when there’s love there’s patience ❤
    A beautiful song as well shared in the comment!
    Wish you a great life, I'm sure with a great soul, you will always make it ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I listened to this song from my dear friend and lost it all teary eyed. I know I am only one of sooooo many countless people who have lived and lost and struggled to survive. Beautiful song.

      Not knowing if anyone would even be interested in reading my story-I decided to publish it here anyway. The response has been so heartfelt and supportive. And now that it’s out of my system (finally!) I feel I can relax.

      For anyone struggling with pain of any kind—I offer my deepest respect. You are not alone. Write your pain out! Journal it-even if no one but you ever sees it. Doesn’t matter. And one day when you are ready to share-the world will be a better place because of it. 🙏🏻

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes it’s a great song! I just heard it for the first time but it’s so touching, it speaks of thousands I guess!
        You did the right thing and hope many others will reach your blog and read as well! I agree with you, the people experiences and struggle should definitely be written to inspire other people 🙂 Wish you the best always ❤

        Liked by 1 person

      2. We are living in such a tremendous time to be able to communicate in a way like never before. It is my thought, my hope-that if we keep sharing our struggles our pain and our triumphs and our love-we can and will overcome the darkness that has for long silenced our voices and kept us in fear. No more.

        But it is important that we respect and honor this ability-use it wisely and responsibly…lest we lose it.

        And this is how we make the world a more beautiful place-by starting with ourselves first. So much gratitude for you my dear bright spirit, Huguetta! 🙏🏻

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Good morning, hope you’ll be having a good day 🙂 I agree that we should respect this ability-use, it’s a blessing we missed before! I always believed that we should start from ourselves and so I did, I always thought that it’s better to light a candle then cursing the darkness and so I did
        Appreciate your kind words and I’m also grateful for knowing such a soul and brave person 🙂

        Like

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