Category: Unpacking My Self

Happy Memories Of You Do I Keep

November 9, 2020

Continued from A Rustic Split Rail Fence

“Let go the past…”

And anyway,

What does it matter she didn’t like your picture?

Those were happy memories to you.

Keep them.

Remembering:

The smile of innocence may fade—as does the rose—however,

The lingering memories are still just as sweet

To the heart…and

The heart remembers (with great joy!) the happy smile of the child and

Delights in retelling the old story!

Today begins a new chapter.

What new story will you tell your heart today?

What new happy memories will you make for your heart to one day remind you of

This day–

Standing at the kitchen sink

Sun shining on the window sill

Cleaning carrots for dinner–

Smiling…

With love from the cottage in the woods,

NZain đź’“

Thank you for reading and sharing this moment together.

Three Sisters Horai

November 5, 2020

Continued from Alone In A Crowd.

Diodorus Siculus, Library of History 5. 72. 5 (trans. Oldfather) (Greek historian C1st B.C.) :

“The Horai (Horae), as they are called, to each of them, according as her name indicates, was given [assigned by Zeus and Hera] the ordering and adornment of life, so as to serve to the greatest advantage of mankind; for there is nothing which is better to build a life of felicity than obedience to law (eunomia) and justice (dike) and peace.

https://www.theoi.com/Ouranios/HoraEunomia.html

Three sisters Horai

Invited I

For tea…and cookies.

Desired I

Wise council of Thee; and

How to “build a life of felicity”...to be continued.

My Dear First Lady,

I am writing to you personally to offer my thanks and gratitude for you, your husband and the whole Trump administration. What you have done for this Great Nation by exposing the real enemy within—will always be remembered by those who see through the lies all the way to the truth–and still trust in the best days ahead.

Regardless of the outcome of this contestable election, I will continue to work for all that is good in the world.

I pray good laws, (Eunomia) justice (Dike) and peace (Eirene) will lead us forward through the darkest days ahead, and we may soon begin rebuilding our best and brightest life yet.

Yours truly,

Nina Zain

Source:

https://www.theoi.com/

Alone In A Crowd.

October 27, 2020

Continued from Unpacking My Self

Just outside my window

Layer upon layer unpacking body, mind and soul.

What lies hidden?

What truth remains–

To be seen?

And heard…

Alone in a crowd

All seemed

“Perfectly normal” except

To the one who

(Hiding behind false pretenses)

Locked behind the weight of her own hollow eyes—she felt

The weight—what could she do?

Perfectly normal

Insisted she remain quiet for the sake of those

Around her

Who

Would rather not know

The awful truth. And

Anyway,

What could they do? (Better not burden those already

burdened with troubles of their own.)

Unnoticed by most, she waited

Until the day her wings

(Ready or not)

Would carry her to a place where

She, alone, could finally

Exhale.

A place where lies are separated and discarded—truth

Neatly folded and placed on the top shelf; a place called Home.

And now reflecting back on the years

With grace-filled eyes,

Accepting the losses of shattered dreams,

Picking up broken pieces, discarding them too–I am

Clearing space for new ideas to emerge; my wings neatly

Folded and placed on the top shelf—I am home.

Home.

A place inside of quiet refuge and rejuvenation

Surrounded by things that matter most.

Things soothing to the senses and

Necessary for nourishment of

Body, mind and soul.

A place where routine becomes ritual and

Each day is a blessing from God…where angels are invited to play

And seek shelter in the storm.

Home

Is

A

Place. Tangible. Real.

Built on a solid foundation to last a lifetime.

Life takes time to build and time is precious: everyone knows this.

Do they? Then why in the world would they want to destroy—?

There is no answer.

No reasonable answer.

Self-abuse is still abusive.

I am concerned with angels. I cannot change the world.

I can clean my own home and make this place a place of beauty and order.

A place where even gods find refuge.

I have work to do…

–NZainđź’“

Thank you for reading.

Unpacking My Self

October 24, 2020

Even now, as an adult, every day I still wake up,

Nervous system conditioned—ready for the crisis. Or

Even worse—the calm.

“Yay! Mommy is all better today!” Was

Not

The

Safe

Response for this emotionally abused child.

I hope you don’t understand. And yet–

I know some of you do understand.

You’ve been there…

Years of conditioning

Training the child

To be on guard

At

All

Times–

Wears the nervous system down.

And so here I am.

You see, if another makes the same mistake—it is easily forgiven. However,

I was trained in a peculiar sort of way and slowly, over time,

My system let me know:

I could no longer add unnecessary stress to my system by pretending to be happy.

If I could not find a way to retrain my nervous system—my system would fail.

So here I am

Unpacking my self

To the very core…

–NZainđź’“

Thank you for reading.