March 3, 2020
Something happened a long time ago.
You’re not sure exactly what happened; however,
You remember it well. Like it happened just this morning.
And now, while you stand there at the sink washing dinner dishes,
Tears streaming down your face, “Oh God! Why didn’t I see it?”
You didn’t see it and neither did they. Dark secrets hidden in plain view. No one saw it.
Somethings are too hard to see. Instead, you feel them. Deep down inside. And they hurt.
God do they hurt like hell after all these years!
“This is crazy. You are a grown woman. Stop crying.”
So, you wash your face with dirty dishwater and carry on because
No. One. Knows. No one sees.
“It’s better this way” you quietly explain to yourself; smiling,
Drying your eyes with an old dish towel.
But you can’t explain why you are now screaming at your husband (or your children).
You can’t explain anything anymore because you’re not exactly sure
What exactly happened.
It was so long ago. You were just a little girl…
Yes. A long time ago something happened. It was a terrible thing and it
Shattered your world.
And here we are wondering why life seems so mean-spirited and meaningless.
“Why did this happen to me?”
It’s ok. Go ahead. Ask the questions.
Dear God,
Nothing makes any sense to me. My life is falling apart. My marriage is falling apart.
I don’t like what I have become.
Angry. Bitter. Resentful. And worst of all—I behave just like her.
How do I stop? How do I stop hurting…
Myself.
And others.
It’s 2am and you are wide awake apparently talking to yourself again.
Are you listening this time?
Look at the man lying next to you who made a vow to you for better or for worse.
Listen to the sound of his breathing. Peaceful. Rhythmic. Soothing.
How much more worse can he take?
And you? How much more worse are you willing to suffer?
Close your eyes. Rest awhile.
It’s still dark, and a new day yet dawns.
–NZain
Growing Up... 
And she’s back! How are you, dear?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Mr. A! I’m well thank you for asking. Glad to be back—had quite an adventure! But I missed everyone here. Good to see you. Thanks for stopping by.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Powerful and well written Nina. Keep going. So glad to have you here again.😃😺☕
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks for the encouragement, Steve. Ok, I’ll keep going! 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yep, I knew you would!😁😸
LikeLiked by 1 person
😊🙃😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wait, that means you don’t just want me to skip to end, right?
LikeLiked by 1 person
You can’t do that! No skipping! Wouldn’t be fair!
LikeLike
Haha! Ok, no race to end to get to the good stuff…gotta go through the tough stuff first.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Right, important to write the whole story.
LikeLike
I am just now reading some of my writings from the last couple of months…goodness I need to edit edit and edit some more! Ha!
From what I can tell, it seems that a lot of people are going through much the same process—healing their past traumas. It takes a lot of courage to want to face the old dragons. But then what a relief. I hope that’s what this blog does for others—encourages.
LikeLiked by 3 people
I’m sure it will encourage a lot of people Nina. Yes, you’re right, a lot of people seem to be going through similar things. And some a very present trauma.
LikeLiked by 2 people
As always, Steve, grateful to you and everyone else here on WP who has shown so much compassion, support and just plain kindness. Bloggers are awesome! We are all in this world together and like Renee says “we will get there together”💓
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes indeed, there needs to be more compassion and kindness among people and we need to support one another along this journey of life. Have a wonderful Wednesday Nina!😃😺🌞☕
LikeLiked by 1 person
I believe healing is on the way, Nina. When we can find the courage to face our past, healing will come.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You said it, Renee “when we find the courage to face our past..” so true. And when we encourage one another…yes, healing is on the way. 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
How could any of us make it without love and support? We will all make it—together! 💜🙏🏼🙂
LikeLike
Optimism is always welcome. 🙏🏻. Yes, one way or another—we will make it together. It’s not a race but a journey and we are in good company. What a happy visual that gives me.🥰
LikeLike
Hauntingly beautiful. Those words may as well have come straight out of my own mind. I’ve been there, I am there, healing takes time.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Hi Angie I’m glad you said that, thank you! Yes, these words could be yours or anyone who has experienced suffering. We are in this world together and that is a beautiful blessing. And the best part about suffering? Healing. I am there with you!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Very glad you’re back. This is brave and kind to share. Sending hugs. 🤗💞🌻
LikeLiked by 1 person
From one brave being to another—thank you, Nadine. Hugs received and given🤗
LikeLiked by 1 person
Even though it’s still dark, and yes; a new day yet dawns! May the Son shine bright, may the darkness be eclipsed… by the love shining in your heart! Be blessed!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Warren for the beautiful blessing and image! Yes, the love that burns in our hearts—you know this well.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re welcome!
LikeLiked by 1 person
LikeLiked by 1 person
https://flipboard.com/@outosego/stories-kn3qtb01y
LikeLiked by 1 person