All Was Emptiness, Except For My Own Self.

November 17, 2020

Continued from The Retelling of an Old Tale.

“All was emptiness, except for my own self, save for the memory of you which seemingly remained only to remind me that I was completely alone.”

“Oh Chaitanya! How frightened you must have been!”

“Even the ground beneath my feet no longer could I feel and for a moment not knowing which way was up—I was afraid…” Chaitanya bowed his head in thoughtful reflection and then looking up into Arielle’s own crystalline eyes, “For fear of losing all that mattered, I was afraid. And for fear I became angry at myself—angry at you—then did I feel shame…

…and in the next moment, I fell to my knees, but do you know what, Arielle? The ground was soft and smelled of fresh cut grass! I was in a garden and ants were busy collecting bits and pieces—“

“Hold on a minute, Chaitan. You were angry at me? But why?”

“All the while, ants going to and fro, without a single care except to do what needed to be done—I wondered the exact same question as it made no sense to me. What was the source of my fear and why was I angry? I quietly watched as the ants worked together, each one carrying his own weight for the benefit of all the ants, when the idea came to me—what if for some reason the ants abandoned their work? What if they abandoned one another?”

“I suppose they would die.” Answered Arielle.

“Yes, I suppose they would. And what if a mother abandons her infant—“

“Oh Chai! I don’t even want to think of it!”

“My dear Ariellah, let me persuade you to think about this harsh reality: some infants are abandoned. We are all born with this innate fear deep inside each one of us and yet it is this fear which keeps us alive.”

“You mean to say ‘our fear of death is what keeps us alive’?”

“And the infant knows this from birth…”

“…and this is why the infant cries!”

“Yes! And coos!”

“This makes perfect sense however, I still don’t understand, Chai–why you were angry with me?”

“In the moment of my disorientation when all was emptiness except for my own self, I felt the deep despair of separation. I felt you, my dear friend Arielle, had abandoned me. I felt loneliness.”

With a look of compassion Arielle replied, “I think I now understand your anger.”

My anger,” Chaitan shook his head, “was irrational when I remembered your love for me–”

“You remembered me!” Delighted, Arielle flung her tiny arms around Chaitanya’s neck and kissed him affectionately on his cheek.”Then what happened?”

To be continued…


Thank you for reading.