March 18, 2021
Continued from Lullaby for Jessica Chapter 6
When the entire reality finally settled, Jessica understood–she created all of it. Peace descended upon her like a waterfall; she was made clean again. And in those dark hours when she wished not to wake because the thought of a new day was just too much to bare–she understood. Her life would end, but not in despair. Her life would take a new form, a metamorphosis, and this time, she would not let her soul down. She would rise from suffering holding comfort in her hands, returning to the people who were most in need. And there are so many in need. She would not stop until her final breath released her from this earthly prison she had so grown to love…
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort who comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
With love and gratitude,
Continued from Pursuing Love’s Addiction: On High Street. Chapter 4
March 13, 2021
Now I see the truth;
Nothing has changed.
I can pour all the love I once had for you back into my own-self where my love belongs. This is how divorcing you feels—really good. No longer will you use me to serve your needs—for this is our last life time together…and now my soul, finally free from every lie you ever told… just to hide the pain of losing me. You turned on me. From the sweetest boy I’d ever known, to a man quite capable of cruelty. You lied to me…tried to hide the truth like I was just some dumb girl…and not your woman. Well, I am your woman no more. I am my own self. Not an extension of you. Not another half of you. Not beholden to you…for your anger does not rule my thoughts or opinions. I see things you won’t. I see the sun shining on a world that is ‘perfectly rotten’; every conflict an opportunity. I see God in everything…even death. But you push away that which you fear while your heart collapses for a lack of joy! Instead of laughter to cleanse the heart, a scornful look burns inside the very thing…I came to you; first with the brush of my hand, then an opening of my arms to draw you in close…you pushed me away…one last time. Who can say–victim or abuser? “everything was fine until you— —!” Fill in the blanks and the hole in my heart while I pour all the love I once had for you back into the container of my soul and make it beautiful again. Make it strong again. Make it me again…alone again to face what’s around the next bend and twisted moral high way. And you can’t drag me down.
To be continued…
The heaviness in the lightness; the darkness in the bright...