The Beginning of the End.🙃

October 6, 2019

Hi! My name is Nina–the N in NZain–and this is the beginning of the end of a year long commitment to my blog Growingupsideways:

Surviving Childhood Emotional Abuse, Politics, Religion and Sex.

Thank YOU! This blog wouldn’t still be here if not for YOU! There were times I wanted to quit…but your words comforted and I felt in YOU a kind heart. A mutually supportive friend. Although we have never met in person–together, here in the virtual world–we’ve created a little more love in the real world.

And none of this blog would ever have happened, if not for you, my LOVE…you know who you are…

Many years ago

You swept me off of my feet; and

When I sent you an

SOS–you didn’t let me fall…

You were kind,

Compassionate and


You caught me

UP! In


Encouraging words and


let me

back down

Reminding me of the time…

I am forever and a day grateful

We crossed paths


In the End

We made mischief & magic. And




Something new is

Being birthed here…and dying.

The Beginning of the End.

A different story





Own ashes.

All the lovely interactions here have been medicine to my wounded heart. As I read the stories of other survivors–I am humbled and comforted knowing we are not alone…we are everyone.

And as I work through and grow up–processing my own issues with abuse–I feel blessed to be here with you. Thank you for reading, for liking, and for helping me make this blog grow with ALL of your wonderful comments and emojis. Sometimes all you need is a 😊.

I’m the girl from NOWHERE

Who never truly belonged ANYWHERE

Traveled the world over…


Just trying to find my way HOME.

Born in AMERICA to

UKRAINIAN immigrants.


They did their BEST to make a BETTER life in the NEW COLD ONE.

Yes, they made mistakes (who doesn’t?).

They learned…they sacrificed…they died.

They planted trees. They made beautiful homes and communities:gardens for future generations so as to be remembered by well. They built churches to remind them what they had left behind. And they fought. Good Lord how they fought!

And they wept as well. With difficulty telling their stories in hushed voices, silence and pain. It is in the silence that I’ve come to understand just how terrible and awesome is this existence.

Now here I am, doing my best to hopefully entertain and inspire you, with these words and videos that are made entirely by me with the technical assistance of my dear husband and precious one. None of this exists without your love and support, Pa! None of it!

If you are enjoying what you see here, please let me know in the comments. Your kind words inspire me to continue creating new projects. And they definitely make me 😊

So please stay tuned to The Beginning of the End…and as always with love and gratitude,

Nina, NZain