Tag: abuse death rebirth breathe love leaving grieving healing moving forward making vows

Professionally speaking 👩🏻‍💻

August 8, 2019

Professionally speaking,

Between you and I,

Contact

Is inappropriate when:

I ask you, “Stop.”

And you refuse.

I tell you, “Stop.”

And you refuse.

I have no choice but to make you stop.

What part of this do you not understand?

So, you rubbed me the wrong way; it’s ok.

Learn from it, my friend.

Yes, it’s all fairytales and tragedies—and

Divine Comedies.

The horror of this world is too great to speak of here…

Let the sirens sing their songs—what do you care?

“Look your own nose!” The Old Man would say.

Guruji—as he was known to most.

For whom does the bird sing?

If she sings only for herself we will come to know…in time…

But see,

I hope it’s not too late:

I believe God brought us all together here;

For better or for worse remains to be seen.

But one of us has fallen—and is nowhere to be heard…

So sing little angel sing don’t you cry:

Unplugged from the grid

Her her own avarice brought her down

Friend turned into enemy

Now everyone’s a clown!

Hope hath a friend in laughter…

Be well, my friend.

Thank you for being a kind friend in my time of need. I appreciate you letting me speak my mind. Always, without judgement. Without hate.

Now, I don’t know what goes on behind closed doors; but professionally speaking, pretending or not I don’t know—nor do I particularly care—I also have nothing to hide except my own bad temper…so I try to mostly keep to myself, you know what I mean? Work on my own healing. Don’t go chasing after every pretty girl I see on the internet! Get to really know myself inside—see just what it is I have to offer her. “Ти Розуміеш?”

“Now you’ve made trouble for yourself” I can hear my grandma saying—but in Ukrainian…

I tried to give her warning—it was a warning to myself.

Help her; prayer for her. Now. Today. Don’t delay—

Or just let her die

Quietly

On a beach… let her die the foul thing that she is…

Prayer for her soul

We each must follow our own path

But we can pray for one another

Along the way…

Sweet little sister

Taken in by surprise

What was your plan

No one can surmise

Now you are down on your face

Inside feels the disgrace;

What will you do?

What will you do?

Who will you turn to

In the hour when

You are

All

Alone

And death smites you

On the cheek, dear

And no one hears your cries

Will you rise up

Come full circle?

Or will you keep falling down

On your face

In the dirt

I fear

For a whole ‘nother round…

So it’s the story over and over

Again and again

Of how the Harlot and the Lover

Conceived a world to fade

Always and forever

Never ending

Always

Being remade…

Our death is but—our beginning.

Don’t hasten

Don’t tarry…

Live your life!

Love

First your

Self;

Then love

Everyone else

As you would—

Yourself.

Then

When judgment day comes–

We will know…

With love and gratitude your friend,

©️Nina Zain 💟

growingupsideways.blog

Collective Consciousness 🌀

July 31, 2019

Hi from camp!

Hope this finds you well and in good spirits. My husband and I just celebrated 23 years of marriage together (WOOHOO!) and he is taking excellent care of me and my still broken, but healing thumb. 👍 Thank you, friends for all your well wishes and prayers for smooth and speedy recovery. I’ll say it again–the WP community is super cool!

Big prayers for the wild land firefighters and their leaders who risk their own lives for the sake of the rest of us. You are heroes. Thank you, and all first responders for the jobs you do. God bless 🙏🏻

Time on my hands.

As of of late, I’ve had time to read more blogs and see what folks are thinking about.

There seems to be a common theme running through the ‘collective consciousness’–do you feel it? Remember, we are ALL in this soup together…

Does it sometimes feel like we are going through some sort of global birthing process? It’s a painful, difficult birth. And yet–we want it. Enough said.

On the one hand,

we see fear and a promise

of an easy way out

directing traffic;

heading towards

a brick wall built on destruction.

Nothing here but despair.

On the other hand, limitless possibilities–beginning

inside our very selves.

This is where it all begins!

All our hopes and dreams. Our joy, sorrow, failures and disappointments. It’s all in there–life and death–all part of this horribly awesome cosmic existence! The Kingdom built on a solid-rock foundation. Eternal life. Infinity.

Which would you rather choose?

Hope.

Yes, yes the physical body must die. I know, it’s a difficult pill to swallow. All of this existence, everyone and everything we know will eventually die. In this, we have no choice. We are born and we die.

And after this?

I personally have no clue what actually happens to us after we die. But, I do have a thought. An intuition. Faith? A feeling? I read it in a book somewhere…and in another…

So folks, remember: we are all in this together. We’ve all made mistakes. Some mistakes we learn from, some unfortunately can’t be undone. Sad but true, ask me how we know. We can’t hide from them.

We can, however, learn from some pretty awesome examples throughout history!

Brave souls who never gave up on their convictions–even unto their death; because they knew the truth. And what is “The Truth”? Better we seek the truth at its source–the very core of our own being. In The Kingdom. A worthy treasure, indeed!

But, it’s dark and scary inside, you say. Remember that little light? It takes a bit of friction to make a spark, right? Don’t fear! The adventure of a lifetime is waiting…

Sad for what could have been, or never happened, or went all wrong? I get it. This I completely understand. Sigh…big deep inhale…and exhale…

Gratitude. Gratitude for this day and from this day forward. Gratitude for ALL of this existence. Joy, sorrow, pain and healing. ALL of it. Try it and see what happens…

So, that’s all today from camp. Time to go walk down to the water and breathe some fresh air. 🌬

Take care and be well, dear friends. Thank you for taking the time to read my thoughts. Your thoughts and comments are always welcome and put a smile on my face.😊

With love and gratitude,

Nina

Sunshine Blogger Award🌻

July 13, 2019

Thank you, Renee for giving me this award. 🙏🏻. I give thanks for sharing in this blogging experience with you!

It is such an joy to visit Renee’s blog with a cup of tea…Hearts abound! Always positively radiant and completely down to earth–if you haven’t been to ❤️Hearttokens❤️–go over say hi–and get a get a great big dose of inspiration and warm-hearted friendship.

https://hearttokens.home.blog/2019/07/11/sunshine-award/

I looked into my teacup and saw this…and thought of you 🙂

RULES:

1. Use the sunshine blogger award logo

2. Give thanks to the blogger that nominated you

3. Answer the 11 questions given to you

4. Nominate 11 other bloggers and ask them 11 questions

Renee’s questions:

1. What is your favorite holiday?

Ukrainian Christmas is celebrated on January 7.

2. If you had to choose between traveling by train, ship or plane, which would you choose, if any of these?

At age 20, I traveled by myself, across the United States–on a Greyhound bus. Michigan to California–three days journey. And I had a good experience. People were kind–I remember a nice family traveling with their small children willing to share their food with me…

While living in India my husband and I traveled across the country on a train. From Benares to Chennai–three days. Again, kind people willing to engage in dialogue and share food. A common theme amongst travelers?

Air travel is super cool…once in the air–don’t get me started about airport security. Rockets! Space travel! Ahhh…now I’m dreaming.

3. Would you sleep in a treehouse?

Absolutely. :

4. Would you sell your house, downsize and move into a cottage?

Absolutely.

4. Would you eat something you consider yucky (like a spider) for a million dollars?

Absolutely. Oh wait. Can I get that deep fried?

5. Do you prefer dressing up or casual, comfy clothes?

Mostly casual comfy–but the occasional special dress up is fun.

6. What is your favorite childhood pet memory?

I had a pet bunny and a German Shepherd. Wintertime we would ice skate on our little frozen pond. Yep, bunnies like to skate on the ice–just like Thumper and of course the puppy wanted to skate as well–just like Bambi...

7. What was your worst childhood injury? (Broken toe, etc)

Broken spirit. The scars you can’t see.

8. If given a choice, would you ski or scuba dive with the sharks?

Oh goodness. I gave scuba a try some years ago–didn’t go so well for me–still too much fear to overcome. Maybe I’ll give it another go one day.

Jet ski? We jet ski in summer. The old stand up skis. So much fun! Flying along on the water! With sharks? This is fantasy, right?

9. What’s your favorite/dream vehicle?

My dream vehicle–the one where I’m buzzing along, but there’s nothing (no actual car) around me; flying across town, zipping past, dodging in and out…yeah that one 🙂

10. If you could change the world, how would you do it?

By changing myself first. Change my perspective–the way I look at the world. Is it working?

11. Which do you prefer, moonlight or sunshine?

Ok, is this a psychological question here? Like asking to choose between friends? One or the other? Hmmm…ok, moonlight then…UPDATE: yesterday evening I sat out under the moon…sunshine I love you, you know I do…but there’s just something about moonlight. Magic. Stillness. Contemplation. Light in the dark…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If anyone is interested in participating in this award (and I do hope you are!)–I would love to hear from you in the comments. Let me know and I’ll send you questions.

With much love and gratitude,💞🙏🏻

Nina 🙂

PS. I made a video and really wanted to sing “You Are My Sunshine” but–copyrights…

So please just sing along!

Awakening

July 8, 2019

We sucked the juice out of life. Didn’t we. Greedily.

Until finally

choking on our own spit

the day arrived when emptiness,

an unintended visitor, moved into our home.

Now, this house is crowded. Too crowded.

I continue to throw pieces of myself away

In search of the thing I lost so long ago.

And suddenly, it’s cold.

I need warmth. No. I require warmth. And kindness…

Is there anything more heartbreaking—wanting love, and yet refusing to let love in?

Chasing after love, and then discarding love?

The heart guarded

Chained to its past

Denies itself true intimacy for fear–

Losing what it already lost

Preferring instead the company of beggars.

I am no beggar.

Always, in love and gratitude for ALL of this existence even when I’m broken down. There is healing. And hope.

Nina 🙂