August 29, 2020
This piece inspired and encouraged by the very witty and talented Charles Joseph
who despite all the sadness in this world–knows laughter is good medicine!
Check him out! I bet you smile. And, Sir Charles–mèsi!
My Dad, a hard working man. He along with his family immigrated to America from Europe. They had escaped Stalin’s communist genocide in Ukraine and found refuge for a time in Germany. We all know what happened next…
Even with all the fighting in the world (he hated that his own Slavic people would kill each other over religion) he still loved to laugh and sing! He kept a folder of “dad jokes”.
This was one of his favorites.
“Who is the Boss?”
One day, the body began fighting. The brain (full of itself) arrogantly declared, “I am the head of the body–I am the boss!”
The heart, however quickly replied, “Everyone loves me! And who can live without a heart? I am the boss!”
This of course started a fight amongst the rest of the body organs, each one thinking they to be the most important member–forgetting that each has their own special role to fulfill–and each needs the other…
Soon there was lots of name calling and punches thrown. Everyone was yelling at the other–except the lowly and oftentimes under deserved–sphincter.
You see, no one considered to ask the sphincter’s feelings which was hurtful.
And so the sphincter said nothing and did nothing. Then, the real problems began.
The brain got a mean headache and couldn’t put two thoughts together saying all sorts of gobbledygook!
This of course just inflamed the heart and without realizing it too was now full of poop–also said mean things.
The lungs gasped, “I can’t breathe! Help!”
The stomach moaned, “Ohh! I don’t feel so good. What is happening to us?”
Indeed. What happened was the whole system began to shut down. The body was slowly dying.
“Quick!” cried the gall-bladder “Someone call 911!”
But there was no answer. You see, the brain (thinking itself so smart) had defunded the emergency services.
Who could help them now?
Just then, the guts (listening to its own instincts) said with a voice of authority, “Hey! I know–let’s talk to my good friend, sphincter! He will help us. I just know it!”
Silence. Then mocking laughter…
Well, you can imagine what took place. The body divided teamed up together with the brain leading. There were riots and violent protests. Demands were made that the lowly sphincter do what they say–“Or else!”
“Or else, what?” the sphincter calmly asked just before rolling over and going back to sleep “Speak to me kindly in the morning. I’m tired of all you fools making a ruckus. Goodnight!”
It was a dark night indeed. The hands tried soothing the belly’s wails to no avail; but then reached out to the heart by writing a love letter.
“Dear Heart, I’m sorry we’ve all been so rough on each other. Is there anything we can do to make it right again?”
The heart, barely beating, with a raspy voice, “Go to our friend…ask nicely…”
So, after a very long night of tears and intense negotiations, at the crack of dawn, the whole body politic had a meeting in the Oval Office.
And I think we all know what happened next.
With the heart leading the brain the whole body declared with one resounding voice, (and here my dad, with lots gawfawing and knee slapping, tears running down his cheeks–)
“The Asshole is the boss!”
Please feel free to share this joke with anyone who’s heart in need of laughter.
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