April 30, 2021
Through eyes of lust is the world viewed
Selfish intentions to get what is needed to survive
Thinking only of one’s own interests and
How can I make this pain go away?
This deep suffering,
“You hurt me!”
How can I forgive you?
How can I see in you the very same Self in me
Wanting to love and be loved
Wanting to know
Life is meaningful and worth the effort to be alive?
For all of its mishaps and blunders
Stumbles and falls…
There is a secret deep within the soul if we are willing to put aside injuries and blame;
Willing to see what is already there
What has always been there
Waiting to be seen with loving eyes wide open
Washed clean in a flood of tears
That threatens to destroy
This bridge between
You and me...
In my pocket I hold onto
A silken thread
As durable as hope and as
Beautiful as life itself.
April 24, 2021
This love am I
Out of shadows a
Behind an apparition—
Only an image of love.
Pure awareness of
Ever present Self
Within the heart of every being.
Stain of my sorrow
In a flood
Under a bridge
Am I becoming
Ever to behold
Fear without doubt.
There can be no doubt when
Faith, rising from its own experience,
Lifts the soul to a place
Where no worry can follow;
Leaving behind no trace of sorrow
Only the question
Where did she go?
She is no longer hiding;
She is becoming
April 22, 2021
This love beyond passing feelings of sweet ecstasy and momentary bliss—
Which I could not endure—for the sake of a deeper love to emerge and sustain me
Through cold nights of lonely misunderstandings. This love was unknown to me
Until feelings of passing desire subsided for the sake of a deeper love.
Within me grows a love powerful and courageous knowing both success and failure;
Undaunted by life’s passing feelings of happiness and sorrow.
This emerging love for You residing in the heart of every being* moves my soul ever closer to knowing You as the Self residing in my very own heart.
*inspired by my life with you and the Bhagavad Gita.
April 18, 2021
It felt so good to laugh again; to
Playfully engage with a man.
To feel strong arms
Holding me without resistance
Without fear, tenderly leading me
To surrender. It was a dream and
I don’t know who you are…
…I will continue dreaming
This beautiful dream.
April 1, 2021
Loving You Goodbye
Loving you with no expectations of
Rewards in the future or
Love returned; just love for the sake of love
Because loving you this way feels right—
I am changed. Forever.
And this feels good…
No longer compelled by fear of losing you; the gift of love is simply that. A gift.
And I give freely to you, my love, for the many years we traveled together through hardships and misunderstandings, joyous discoveries and precious moments sipping coffee together in the early morning hours. Precious time. Not lost. Not forsaken.
You and I
Searching for beauty
Searching for true love
To save us from ourselves; we wanted
To be loved…and
Only now, are we truly learning how to love.
I am not ashamed to say,
“I am not finished loving you, my friend.”
This love I have for you goes deeper than the darkest hell we survived when we made each other look deep within our own selves to find our true selves amongst the debris of broken vows and angry words so carelessly tossed about like rotten old garbage. We were there all along…just waiting to be rediscovered in the hush of morning twilight when the sun, just about to rise, gives new hope to all the world. We were there.
This journey we chose from the beginning to walk together is coming to an end. Soon, we will choose to say goodbye. But until that final day, I make you this new vow, my husband: to cherish us completely and nourish all that is within our souls.
March 29, 2021
Because of you, am I set free…
How many lifetimes together we
Walked this dark path
Revealing to no other but
Our darkest selves—
God only knows.
And when trapped in the prison of ignorance unable
To love, as lovers do for fear—now
In the light of this truth—I love you freely, my friend…
As I never could love you before. I cherish you completely
For now do I understand the meaning of true love in the
Wholeness of suffering and joy.
In order to finally find you;
I first had to lose you.
I am honored to know you
All your best; all your worst.
For who can really love one so intimately or so intensely
Without also loving the harsh reality that is this shared human condition?
And this harsh reality we survived for the benefit of all—
I am not ashamed to show the world healing is possible.
Love so confounding we think we know it when we feel it
And then it transforms into something we no longer recognize but instead fear.
It’s easy to fall in love and terrifying to fall out; expecting love to behave in a way that makes sense. But love is irrational and every poet knows this…
In humble gratitude,
March 28, 2021
For all of the kind and encouraging comments, thank you.
With a heart full of love and gratitude,
March 23, 2021
Continued fromBreaking Down on High Street. Chapter 9
With love and gratitude,