April 23, 2023
There are amongst us, (certain)
Individuals who
Because of adverse childhood experiences and
Patterning; learned to
Create “artificial conflict” in their intimate relationships–
As a way of maintaining a safe distance between themselves and their partners.
This is of course to protect their own self interests.
In these never-ending conflicts
There is no hope of healthy resolution.
No repairing of tears.
No coming together in solidarity for the purpose of
Deepening the connection and strengthening the bond.
No understanding.
No compassion.
No authenticity or trust.
No. Real. Joy.
As for the person on the receiving end of this crazy-making behavior?
This is my personal story. These are the hard lessons I learned through life, love, death and divorce. Perhaps you can relate.
To be continued…
©️NZain 2023 💖
As always dear reader, your comments, insights and criticisms are respectfully welcome here.
Growing Up... 
There are times when I am at a loss for words dear Nina, but I stand beside you in prayer and hope that I can be of some encouragement to you. God’s strength and love is always what we need when going through trials and troubles of all kinds. He will always draw close to us to be that comfort we need and give us of His joy for each day! Thinking of you and praying for you!😊🖐️😻🌞🌹🌺🌷
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It IS crazy making, and it is also very sad 😦
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Hey Nina,
I just got to your most recent post. I read it, and I felt really bad about what I read. Sometimes…and for some, by what is learned “For Safety” is how we “Perceive” threat to self and that it MAY trigger the personal FOR survival.
“It’s not personal” I find is very rarely a true statement. Life…is personal…to all participants that are engaged with ALL THE ELEMENTS that are constantly touching. And…they all touch. I am sorry for this pain I’ve read here.
I think…in the “silent” vacuum some find themselves in and perceive themselves alone; unaware that any “Should” or “Ought” to be there because, alone…who is known, really, to be seen or heard in that place…in the vacuum…”alone” with what was taught and conditioned to be perceived from such a young age (conception)…when one is taught to be invisible and silent in the vacuum…and that they may have wished and believed it…to be safe, and THAT IS the only safety they would know (a wishful hoping belief) if they truly were alone…as they likely were taught (learned)…and safety for all was dependent upon it; safety for the perpetrator – to NOT be triggered into violence; safety for the victim to NOT have violence acted against them; safety for the rescuer for that ALL WOULD BE safe and no action would be needed to rescue.
Indeed, my life taught me how very personal this can get to all connected parties, and it’s ALL connected. I get it.
So I read your entry, and I thought…”If I could change this that I am reading to reflect how I felt about those conditions that showed me death, divorce, pain, abuse, neglect…hate, despair…etc (all true), what would I change so that it would be truer for me (because it’s all very personal).” I modified what you wrote, and the modification I made is shown by asterisks. I didn’t change a sing word; but just moved something to a different location. It makes me no happier, and there is no great satisfaction for it except it seems more…authentic as what life teaches some…but not all…until all learn both sides; which requires a new learning found only outside of the vacuum…where and when it finally feels safe, somehow, to leave it. And, as Always…always…love to you. I wish I had read this sooner. I hope it all gets better soon…for all connected parties, and it’s always all connected.
To be personally continued…..outside of the vacuum.
There are amongst us, (certain)
Individuals who
Because of adverse childhood experiences and
Patterning; learned to
Create “artificial conflict” in their intimate relationships–
As a way of maintaining a safe distance between themselves and their partners.
This is of course to protect their own self interests.
****As for the person on the receiving end of this crazy-making behavior; (?) these never-ending conflicts
There is no hope of healthy resolution.
No repairing of tears.
No coming together in solidarity for the purpose of
Deepening the connection and strengthening the bond.
No understanding.
No compassion.
No authenticity or trust.
No. Real. Joy.
This is my personal story. These are the hard lessons I learned through life, love, death and divorce. Perhaps you can relate.
To be continued…
©NZain 2023 💖
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M’Dear B’David…when I see myself reflected back to me…in your kindness and personal truth…I can’t help but smile. Big smile. 😁 💖 Let’s keep writing about what makes us divinely human souls creating this awesomely beautiful and crazy horribly grand experience that touches us so deeply in those personal places that for so many are out of reach in the darkness…and just want to be hugged. 🤗
It’s personally an honor when you take these words and make them your own.
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Amen! You have the grace of Angels, M’Dear!
It is an Honor in the presence of “Divinely Human souls creating this awesomely beautiful and CRAZY HORRIBLY GRAND experience…” Which ain’t even the half of it though the “Crazy” nearly takes the cake for sure. I got that part down but good!
Love in Grace, Gifts and Blessings to you…Always
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Always M’Dear🤗🙏😘
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For the Grace of Angels, these are demons without the Heart God Created for them.
And so, what does that make of angels; divorced from the mind God Gave them?
And of Marriage between these; a light to brighten the mirror between them so that it can finally be seen.
The truth of Angels and Demons that live in man.
Angels are crazy.
Demons are insane.
In divorce, hate is born.
And so what is born of marriage? And who exactly is the bride/groom?
Love is.
B’David
05032023
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….I’m all goosebumpy. ☺️. Let’s keep this going…
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Nina, your words invite others to truthfully reflect. In my own life, I’ve experienced the destructive, emotional journey of divorce. Faith has pulled me forward, but not without some struggles.
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The struggles are so real, Mr. B. Thank you for sharing. I always appreciate you.
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