December 30, 2021
I got caught
In a pit.
A bottomless abyss;
Stuck.
In.
Honey.
Oh she seemed so sweet!
That first taste; sticky
Mixed with deceit.
Intoxicating.
In.
Toxic.
Honey.
And people told me,
“You should be
Sooooo
Happy!”
Well, instead I got angry.
And let me tell you, a little bit of anger goes a
Loooong way! A fire that burns away impurities and reveals gold.
Because sometimes,
Anger in just the right dose
Can cure the toxic affects of sweet deceit. And so,
After I pulled myself up and out–
I looked down…
In sympathy.
Because, the truth is:
There are so many like me struggling to get free…
Looking forward to a new adventure into the unknown, unpredictable and entirely absurd wondrous world we call home. Wishing us all a healthy new year!
With peace and cheer,
©️2021 Nina 💚
Growing Up... 
Yes, there are many of us struggling to get free. It takes a lot of work, and it isn’t an easy journey. Thank you for inspiring me and others to keep on gong – because it is worth it!
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Because WE are worth it! Whatever our sticky addiction. Let’s keep inspiring each other and journey together. 💚
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Yes. We can’t hear that too often. We have to keep on saying “I am worth it” – repeating it again and again – until we actually believe it!!!
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I am worth all the peace/turmoil/joy/suffering expressions of this awesome mystery of life. I don’t know what I did to deserve this life…or if I am paying back a karmic debt of betrayal. But I know in quiet moments of rest—the expansiveness of the magnitude and magnificent…bliss…I wouldn’t change one minute of suffering to know this joy of healing. “I am worth it.” Onwards and upwards. Happy New Year! 🥳
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Beautiful words written you. Interesting post. I like. I wish you stay healthy, wealthy & happy to New year. God bless you.🌲🌷🙏
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Thank you, dear! I wish the same for you. God’s peace and blessings. 🙏🏻💚✨
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You are Most welcome!🌷
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Greetings, and HAPPY NEW YEAR, Nina and readers! Nina, You replied “Because WE are worth it! Whatever our sticky addiction. Let’s keep inspiring each other and journey together.”
And THEN you replied “I am worth all the peace/turmoil/joy/suffering expressions of this awesome mystery of life.”
(Deep deep healing sigh).
YES! That is exactly the conclusion I recently came to after my husband died of COVID just 5 weeks ago. When he first got hospitalized; before they ran him through the narrow protocols approved by the CDC (not even pretending to be holistic at all)…I had a dream.
An old dog of mine, Abby, came to me…barking excitedly; wagging her tail…vivacious…joyful. Her whole being and activity invited me to chase her. I did. And as I kept trying to get closer to her, she would frolic…and BARK BARK BARK. I didn’t know what to make of it! Then the “Translation” started….”Bark bark bark (such a joy filled bark).”
Translation: You missed the point of the lesson.
WHAT THE HELL??!!! Bark bark bark (“You missed the point of the lesson.”)
I was in the process of beginning my anticipatory grief for my husband; trying to reconcile any and all remorse; feeling so…regretful, for I KNEW…had this deep awareness that my husband would not survive this because he was in the hospital; was already getting damage done from his treatments (try blowing 100% oxygen directly into a lung with a BIPAP and call that “Covid related”…There is covid…and there is the approved treatments for covid…that can harm, too..and they did).
So, remorse. My husband and I were very close, AND we were exactly opposite in every way; astrologically, numerologically, Meyers-briggs personality typologically,…politically (though I did shift to a more conservative viewpoint because he made good arguments…ALWAYS)…EVEN OUR CAREERS seemed in opposition; he a correctional captain in the state prison system for 31 years and me a hospice nurse for 30 years (rigid rules and safety vs. compassion and empathy). We did share a passion for our own perspectives (see? we did share SOMETHING IN COMMON!! LOL).
The point of the lesson my Abby tried to direct me to: LOVE may come from opposition. It did. It does. It will always be so.
I love my husband SO MUCH. He gave me a great gift to continue on in life as he continues on RIGHT NEXT TO ME in spirit: Love is life.
If any find themselves alive, they…we…you, me…all is worth it…(worthy).
I’m pretty sure Abby meant THIS! And I drew that conclusion…
And…I now have a worthy confirmation…yet again. Isn’t spirit amazing??!! Being imbued by this animating force (life…spirit…biological metabolisms….what ever combines to make all this MOVE through this life) brings us and brings out every gift God intended for us, and…as I believe it…is written on every heart for the soul bound to that heart to read, interpret…and then be guided by to an inevitable conclusion. Who may define it..that conclusion?
Any can judge, buhhhhtt…WE go through life…garnering the knowing of what God placed in each of our own hearts.
I’d have never been able to share this with my husband. He’d have squashed it (Black and white, right and wrong…oppositional). What is the point of the lesson (Thanks Abby)?
It doesn’t matter. I know. What do you know of your own heart?
(You KNOW).
GOD BLESS YOU ALL, and thank you for this time with you.
Life is mysterious. There is a point to it….all of it.
Warmly,
Grumpy Kitty
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Dearest Grumpy Kitty,
Envision me sitting quietly with you…………………………………………………………………………..
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….🙏🏻
When you and I first engaged here on WP—I was sure you were an Angel. Now, I know for sure that you are indeed. There are some in this life we may never physically see…and yet they touch us so deeply. So real.
Oh those deep deep healing sighs cleansing us of accumulated years of life! Sometimes it is so difficult for me to let go of what is holding onto me. Sticky. But staying stuck doesn’t do me or anyone else any good. Ever.
Abby knows. “Don’t miss the point of the lesson!” And is the point to realize there is a point? That in the mystery of death—which you are so intimately familiar with—there is life? And unbounded freedom? And joy. And ALL OF IT is inside of us in a trillion cells communicating…listen and be still…and know what the heart is communicating—directly from God. Spirit is amazing!
This past year, I lost my husband of 25 years. He walked out. Left me for another woman. Oh that sweet deceit! I wanted to die. Instead, I am discovering life and something I didn’t know existed within me. True love. And you know something, Grumpy—I am grateful. I was stuck within a loveless marriage. Oh sure, there was lust…but love? Now that he is gone—I see the truth. Whew….deep healing sigh…what did either of us know of love? And when I say “love” I mean kindness and compassion, generosity and…self-control.
What do I know of my own heart? You know that I know you know. Admitting it is the first step. One day at a time. Changing only what I can. Leaving the rest in God’s very capable and mysterious ever loving and abundantly gracious hands that hold each and every one of us aloft. WE are worthy of it ALL. Even the other woman.
Always, you inspire me. May your love for all that is life—your dear beloved husband (thank you Abby!) continue to expand ever growing ever touching those of us seen and unseen. And may those he touched in and out of prison—also be blessed.
With love and gratitude,
Nina 💚
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Life’s journey has moments when we ask questions. Sometimes the honey arrives from an unlikely source. Blessings to you Nina . . . may hope, peace, joy, and love sweeten the journey.
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Sometimes in the most unexpected and unlikely sources! The greatest blessing, Mr. B is that we are all on this journey together.
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Here’s to new adventures and getting “unstuck.” I believe you can and you WILL. 🤗🙌🏼💜
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…by the grace of God💚🙏🏻🕊
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