September 28, 2021
As I listened to a meditation by Dr. Kristin Neff on Tender Self-compassion, I thought of the importance of understanding and friendship.
“…now imagine a dear friend in a similar situation. What would you say to this friend? Try saying these same words to yourself…”
Is it easier to be kind to another or to ourselves? And if I am so hard on myself, will I also be so hard on you? The thought of intentionally hurting you makes me cringe…and yet I don’t think twice when I hurt myself? (After all, I was told that I deserve to be punished, right?)
“You had better not hurt me.” He once said to me many years ago. At that time, I didn’t understand the implications of his words, because he also said, “I think I am falling in love with you.”
He wouldn’t hurt me. Right? And so I learned the hard way…
I don’t feel safe with you because you are never going to hurt me. (I expect you will unintentionally hurt me–no one is perfect) I feel safe with you knowing that when you do hurt me, you can accept it with ease…and so can I.
This is a new story.
Not the story with the fairytale ending; the one that begins and ends with loving kindness, compassion, joy and acceptance. The story of understanding and friendship.
Just some thoughts for today…
With love and gratitude.