Continued from Pursuing Love’s Addiction: On High Street. Chapter 4
March 13, 2021
Now I see the truth;
Nothing has changed.
I can pour all the love I once had for you back into my own-self where my love belongs. This is how divorcing you feels—really good. No longer will you use me to serve your needs—for this is our last life time together…and now my soul, finally free from every lie you ever told… just to hide the pain of losing me. You turned on me. From the sweetest boy I’d ever known, to a man quite capable of cruelty. You lied to me…tried to hide the truth like I was just some dumb girl…and not your woman. Well, I am your woman no more. I am my own self. Not an extension of you. Not another half of you. Not beholden to you…for your anger does not rule my thoughts or opinions. I see things you won’t. I see the sun shining on a world that is ‘perfectly rotten’; every conflict an opportunity. I see God in everything…even death. But you push away that which you fear while your heart collapses for a lack of joy! Instead of laughter to cleanse the heart, a scornful look burns inside the very thing…I came to you; first with the brush of my hand, then an opening of my arms to draw you in close…you pushed me away…one last time. Who can say–victim or abuser? “everything was fine until you— —!” Fill in the blanks and the hole in my heart while I pour all the love I once had for you back into the container of my soul and make it beautiful again. Make it strong again. Make it me again…alone again to face what’s around the next bend and twisted moral high way. And you can’t drag me down.
To be continued…
The heaviness in the lightness; the darkness in the bright...