February 24, 2021
Yesterday, I had an epiphany. I saw a side of me I didn’t care to see.
And what the thing showed me…I wonder now:
Is it easy to love a woman with addictions; or one who is self-deprecating? And…
…of the two—is there hope?
How to begin again? Where to begin? How does one be themself if one does not know themself? How does one become something other than what one is?
How does a caterpillar become a butterfly?
Only the caterpillars know…
I looked again at the behavior and how the pattern was formed…released the stress from my body the best way I knew how…and learned a little something new about my self.
Today is a different day. Today I saw a side of me I like. Today, I am more myself.
The strange thing about childhood emotional abuse is that even long after the abuser is gone, the abusive behavior may still manifest itself as self-abuse. This is dumb. This is no way to live. Ever. Stop it. Now.
Transforming self-abusive behavior into self-caring behavior is a process. Yep. Just like the caterpillar becoming a butterfly. God knows.
Thank you for reading. Hope your day is pleasant.