A Side of Me.

February 24, 2021

Yesterday, I had an epiphany. I saw a side of me I didn’t care to see.

And what the thing showed me…I wonder now:

Is it easy to love a woman with addictions; or one who is self-deprecating? And…

…of the two—is there hope?


How to begin again? Where to begin? How does one be themself if one does not know themself? How does one become something other than what one is?

How does a caterpillar become a butterfly?

Only the caterpillars know…

…and God.


I looked again at the behavior and how the pattern was formed…released the stress from my body the best way I knew how…and learned a little something new about my self.

Today is a different day. Today I saw a side of me I like. Today, I am more myself.

The strange thing about childhood emotional abuse is that even long after the abuser is gone, the abusive behavior may still manifest itself as self-abuse. This is dumb. This is no way to live. Ever. Stop it. Now.

Transforming self-abusive behavior into self-caring behavior is a process. Yep. Just like the caterpillar becoming a butterfly. God knows.

–NZain 😊

Thank you for reading. Hope your day is pleasant.

Author: NZain

Finding my way forward...

5 thoughts on “A Side of Me.”

  1. You need this….it says everything I want to say to you right now.
    Get out of your own way.
    If you learn to love yourself you have the security of knowing you will always be loved even when faith may seem to tremble.
    Let your light shine.



  2. Nina🙏🏻🤍🌻 I think if people were truly honest with themselves they too would see characteristics they don’t like. I just posted a blog about a few of my less attributes of mine. As a person who has experienced abuse too, sometimes the slightest little thing can tigger an emotion, it’s not on purpose or for punishment (my words), but by the experience I gain knowledge. Knowledge about myself and the trauma, this helps to better prepare me of future possible breakthroughs of emotions. Emotions are neither good or bad, it’s our actions and responses. Sending hugs and love your way! 🌻🌾🌼🤍🤗


  3. Well written Nina! And that butterfly is something of great and wondrous beauty. You have the right idea Nina and you’re going in the right direction. And yes, God knows.😀🖐😻


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