Imagine My Surprise. And Disgust…

May 20, 2020

Based on actual recent events.

Can everyone agree grocery shopping is just—different?

This happened last week…

My husband and I made our way to the check out lane. A woman (Dare I say ‘cougar’? Think ‘man-eater’.) beckons to hubby, “Oh it’s ok, you can come closer, I’m not afraid—I take my vitamins…”

WARNING! WARNING!

Imagine my surprise when hubby chuckles and takes a step closer…

Imagine my disgust* as instinct kicks in to move the body into action:

“Strategically position yourself between hubby and predator! Do it now!

And don’t take your eyes off threat!”

And with a final look to my husband as if to say, “Sorry your wife is so dull and gloomy…and sorry there will be hell to pay for laughing–but it was worth it…”

Listen, Jezebel—

I see you

He sees you

We all see you. And

We all hear you too.

And if what I had was in fact Covid-19 trust me—you don’t want to stand so close.

This virus will wipe that smug smile right off your pretty face. So, when your son arrives home from Louisiana (yes yes we all heard) and you, no doubt, lavish him with hugs and kisses…good luck.

As for me and my family—please keep your distance.

(Did I mention I had a terrible tension headache that day?)

So we arrive home and are putting away our groceries when I mention to hubby, “She was rather bright, eh? You thought she was funny–laughing at her remark.”

“Oh, you mean the woman in line at the grocery store?”

(Yes yes the one with the bright neon-pink toes!)

“She was pleasant enough.”

“Really?”

Silence…

Cue Maneater.

“Hmmm…are there really women like that? I guess I just don’t notice.”

Ahh my sweet and sometimes adorably naive husband!

How grateful I am to you these last several months of quarantine together. When I needed comfort—when I couldn’t breathe—you were right there holding me in your loving arms with Eucalyptus steam…

The world is changed. Everything is just—different—for better or for worse remains to be seen but one thing remains certain: “…watch out boys…”**

–NZain💓

*Disgust (Middle French desgouster, from des- dis- + goust taste, from Latin gustus; akin to Latin gustare to taste) is an emotional response of rejection or revulsion to something potentially contagious[1] or something considered offensive, distasteful, or unpleasant. —–Wikipedia

**https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maneater_(Hall_%26_Oates_song)

Author: NZain

@ukiezhinka

38 thoughts on “Imagine My Surprise. And Disgust…”

      2. …the beginning of compassion. They’ve had it rough with all the “male guilt” nonsense in the media. Glad that’s over! We need our guys—as much as we need women.

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh good! Glad this made you laugh—mission accomplished! We also had a good laugh too when my husband read it this morning. Still giggling. Nice to see you, Frank. 🙂

      Like

      Reply

  4. Wonderful post Nina! Gave me a nice, and rather large, laugh! Hope you are having a good day!😃😺🌞
    Also, have a question, can Mr. Cat play a role in my next story coming up?😁😸😻

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

    1. Aww, Steve I’m glad to read this gave you a hearty laugh—thank you. It was fun to write. 🙂
      Mr, Cat—in your next story? Sounds neat? Would you like me to send you a photo? Will he be a villain? 😼muwahahaha……
      Thanks for checking in Steve I appreciate your company.🙂🖐😻up to my armpits in compost—gotta get it done before summer! I’ll be by to visit you and Muffin…

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

      1. Thank you so much for letting me use Mr. Cat! A villain? No, though Muffin might be suspicious at first. A photo, or two, would be great! Could you send it this weekend? The introductory chapter is coming out Monday. If you can’t get it to me that soon, that’s okay too, I’ll use it later.😁📷😸
        Compost is good stuff, wish I had some yesterday. I got my flowers planted in their containers. A rather odd assortment of containers, but it’s the flowers that are important. I just didn’t want to buy new containers, not knowing how things would go with the flowers this year. Hopefully people will leave them alone this time.😬
        Look forward to your visit Nina! I haven’t been posting as much lately, I need to get busy, but I’m still so worn out and lots of things to do.
        Hope you have a great weekend Nina!😃😺🌞☕☕

        Liked by 3 people

      2. That’s right—you had problems with your pots last year, eh? Good luck this year! I’m touched you would like to write Mr. Cat into your story. I’ve got some photoshop you…🖐😻

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Hi Nina! Yes, I hope it works better this year, we’ll see, the flowers are looking nice right now anyway.
        Thanks so much Nina, just answered you, I have been off my computer all morning, just got back on. Look forward to Mr. Cat!😺😻🖐

        Like

    1. Oh good! Glad you are laughing—then the message was received. 🙂Thanks for the feedback, Watt—I appreciate it—exploring different avenues in prose…scary.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

    1. Haha! Oh goodness that made me giggle, Punam—but I truly wouldn’t wish what I had on anyone. God bless our men! Hubby and I both a good laugh about this one. 💓😊

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

      1. What a lovely sound it must be…your giggle! 😊
        I know, dear, you would never do that!! Isn’t it so wonderful when we can laugh with our men over such incidents! Stay blessed, Nina ma. 🙏🏼❤️😊

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Yes, it nice to laugh—life can be so funny sometimes. I do love a good giggle! The kind that won’t stop. Ends in tears…😂
        I wouldn’t want the curse to come back! 🙈 no…just quietly let them fade away. Funny, now we go shopping and are on the lookout!
        And you as well, stayed blessed, Puman ma🙏🏻💓🙂

        Like

Leave a comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.