Shattered Chapter 3: Listen to Your Dreams Unfolding

March 9, 2020

For powerful men and women everywhere.

I dream

I am

In the presence of a powerful man.

Intelligent. Interesting. Patient. Kind.

I am soaring!

Then, for some reason there I am folding his laundry when he says with a kind smile, “you don’t need to be my maid”.

I think to myself, “is this the best I have to offer such a powerful man?”

He shows me a fantastic invention he created (a wonderful machine); and asks me to take the control into my hands.

(Oh to try and describe the thing! Words fail me now…it was after all only a dream)

I am clumsy on my own, so he simply, patiently

And rather gently holding the control with me—barely touching my hand—begins guiding me to feel…

“Surrender to take-charge.” he says

Not quite touching my ear with his own breath.

I am terrified and find it difficult to trust myself. I will fail—break the thing.

I feel I will crumble—be exposed for my incompetence and vulnerability—and he will judge me—abandon me, or worse—criticize me.

It is too much for my nervous system. I am both simultaneously scared and excited as I begin to feel myself relax and let go while an immense flood of energy unfolding through my body threatens to annihilate me.

I am exhilarated and exhausted.

I have to escape the reality of this dream.

He patiently smiles. He understands. I wake myself…

What kind of woman am I? What do I have to offer a powerful man?

Am I a scared little girl who never grew up–unconscious; waiting for love’s true kiss to wake me?

How sad to wait on someone else who is also scared and unconscious and waiting…waiting.

I am

Intelligent. Interesting. Patient. Kind.

I won’t give up on my dream. I will gently train my nervous system to control this immense flow of energy unfolding throughout my body which threatens to annihilate me.

And I will grow stronger and more powerful.

I will surrender and take charge.

“Wooohooooo!”

I listen to the owl outside my window and the sound of my breath in harmony with the one lying next to me: Intelligent. Interesting. Patient. Kind.

I look at the clock. 3:14 am.

My heart fills with joy. I could stay in this unfolding moment for all eternity.

And for now,

I will.

–NZain