Final Fare-Well to Growingupsideways.blogšŸ˜Š

January 3, 2019

A very sincere thank you to everyone here on WP. There is much I could say, but I will keep it simply–thank you.

This is the final post for growingupsideways.blog. Time to grow up. If not now, when? I will continue to write and explore–maybe even publish a book one day. NZain, poetess. Has a nice ring to it!

Until then, I look forward to reading more of your poems and stories and seeing your photos and art. I wish you all the best of success on your blogs!

My first post began with a Bible verse from the book of Isaiah “…I form the light and create the darkness…”

And so, my final post also begins…

ā€œThat they may know from the rising of the sun, and from the west, that there is none beside me. I am the Lord, there is none else. I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the Lord do all these things.”Isaiah 45: 6, 7

Great Spirit, You who are called by so many names and worshipped in so many ways, the One Living God; thank You for this life of mysterious wonders. Always am I reminded of Your presence everywhere, ā€œI form the light and create darknessā€.

Sometimes, it is difficult for me to believe You create evil. It hurts.

But then something miraculous happens when I dive deeply into Your infinite ocean of existenceā€”my strength is revived.

Disquieted, I struggle against all fear and worry; ripped apart torn to shredsā€”until there is nothing left of me to fight. Dis-membered. Dis-illusioned.

You are ALL and I am a part, but never apart from You.

The light the dark, good, evil, suffering, healing…a mysteriously unfathomable unexplainable wondrously horrific and awesome existence. I surrender to You. There is nothing else and I have nothing to fear. Not even death.

You are ALL I see, taste, touch; I hear You and nothing else. Your fragrance is ever present.

And yet, sometimes, it hurts.

When attacks come from all directions and I am standing alone (or so I think) to defend myself…waitā€”what is it I am defending? Who are my enemies? You are All there is. And then, something miraculous happens.

Once again reminded of Your presence everywhere: I surrender and my enemies vanish. Disillusioned am I. There is only You and nothing else. And yet, sometimes, it still hurts…

The human heart may be fragile; however, the ego is strong defending its very existence against Your Love. A mystery.

And so, once again, I dive…

WLaG,

Nina Zain

Hanalei Bay at sunset. Photo by me.

Author: NZain

@ukiezhinka

36 thoughts on “Final Fare-Well to Growingupsideways.blogšŸ˜Š”

    1. Š”ŠæŠ°ŃŠøŠ±Š¾ Š±Š¾Š»ŃŒŃˆŠ¾Šµ, Narine! Good journeys to youā€”Iā€™ll look forward to seeing more pictures of your travels. Thank you for sharing your world. It is a beautiful place. šŸ§”

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    2. Love the pic! šŸ™‚ You have learned to grow ā€œupā€ and not ā€œsideways,ā€ Nina! šŸ‘šŸ¼ šŸ‘šŸ¼ A great accomplishment! And now to find the tissues!!!šŸ˜”šŸ˜¢šŸ˜­. I hope you donā€™t leave completely! I think you are so talented and your gifts need to be shared! A book by the lovely poetess, Nina Zain, would be a lovely treasure! Looking forward to it! I need to get the courage to finish the book I started several years ago. Maybe we both will have lots to share my friend! šŸ˜šŸ¤—šŸ’œšŸ’•āœŒšŸ¼šŸ„³šŸ˜‡šŸ§œšŸ¼ā€ā™€ļøšŸ§œā€ā™‚ļøšŸ§žā€ā™‚ļøšŸ§ššŸ‘©ā€šŸ¦½šŸš¶šŸ»ā€ā™€ļøšŸ’ƒšŸ¼šŸ‘šŸ¼šŸ™ŒšŸ¼šŸ’œšŸ¤—šŸ§‘ā€šŸŒ¾šŸ§™šŸ¼ā€ā™€ļøšŸ™‹šŸ»ā€ā™€ļø šŸ‘‹šŸ¼ šŸ‘‹šŸ¼

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  4. I really don’t know what to say Nina, but I do wish all the best for you in your future endeavors, wherever they might lead you. I was hoping for more poem collaborations, and it could still be done, anytime you might want to, but if not, that is perfectly okay. I’m very thankful for the poems you brought to life for me, it truly was wonderful. I will stop, all the best Nina, God bless you!šŸ˜„šŸ˜æ But alsošŸ˜šŸ˜øā›„šŸŒ²

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    1. Aww Steve now you are going to make me teary-eyed again! Itā€™s been truly wonderful interacting with youā€”doesnā€™t matter what we talk aboutā€”itā€™s always positively fun. Thank you for being a good kind warm-hearted friend. Iā€™ll still visit your blog oftenā€”and especially when I need some good old fashioned country smiles! You are blessing to us all! šŸ˜ŠšŸ­šŸ˜»

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      1. Thanks so much Nina, you have been a wonderful encouragement to me. I look forward to your visits and hopefully you will want to come back again at some point. Have a wonderful weekend Nina!šŸ˜šŸ˜øā›„šŸŒ²

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  5. Dear Nina,
    You have been a beautiful ray of light to me here. I will miss you…so very much. You are a gentle soul with so much goodness to give. It has been my pleasure to know you. Please take care and keep being your lovely self. With love and hugs,
    Always,
    Suzanne ā¤ļø

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    1. Dear Suzanne, Iā€™m all smiles and all choked up too. It is also a pleasure to know you and your beautiful wordsā€”not so easily forgotten! I will continue to visit your blog and send lots of sparkly fairy dust love thoughts your way! šŸ§šā€ā™€ļøšŸ’“šŸ˜Š.
      I may just come back to blogging one day…but first I have to go through some things that need going throughā€”mainly my marriage. A bit of dark time ahead for meā€”but Iā€™m not afraid. And hopefully in the endā€”Iā€™ll have some writing to share. Yes, I will take care and stay true to my natureā€”always. Thank you for the kindness, love and hugs. My heart is full of gratitude! WLaG, NinašŸ’“

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      1. I will look very forward to hearing from you..and for the fairy dust love šŸ§šā€ā™€ļøalways welcome šŸ’•
        Know that you will be in my thoughts in the times ahead..and that I gift you wings, delicate wings of a strength to hold you in all times and all places. šŸ¦‹
        WLAG, suzanne ā¤ļø

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      2. Delicate wings of strength is exactly what this little butterfly needs right now to fly upwards and onwards. Yes, WLAG! Always a heart full of love and gratitude in all times and in all places. Thank you for this, Suzanne.šŸ’“

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    1. Thank you Frank. Yes, a couple of months back I started this collection ā€œbeginning of the endā€ with the intention of ending this story of growingupsideways. Time for me to move on to a new story. Thank you for the well wishes and you are most welcome! And when kindness is receivedā€”it is a truly beautiful blessing indeed. šŸ˜Š

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  10. Though endings are always sad, they also signify new beginnings, and I can completely understand it. Sending love and gratitude for all these glimpses into the windows of you. Happy travels, if/till we meet again šŸ’›šŸŒ±

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    1. Thank you, Nadine! Yes, Iā€™m traveling into a dark place of the heart. My marriage.
      Iā€™ll continue to write because it helps me process. One day maybe my words will help someone else. But for nowā€”its just too close to home to blog. But itā€™s an exciting time too! I am hopeful for new beginningsā€”happily ever after.

      Keep blogging and blooming, Nadine! Iā€™ll still visit…I know there will be times when I am in need of inspiration from others.
      Thank you for the love and gratitude and kind words of encouragement. This WP community is awesome! Love and hugs to you! šŸ¤—šŸ’“šŸ¦‹

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      1. I hear you… and my heart truly goes out to you.

        I won’t promise anything about blogging; I’ve been working towards some changes myself (aren’t we all, at some level?); but keep writing, dear Nina, and I will too. That much I feel fairly sure about being able to commit to, as long as I’m able to to type or hold a pen. ;)) āš”ļøšŸ”†Much love and hugs to you, too. ā¤ļøšŸ™šŸŒ·šŸ¤—

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      2. Thank you, Nadineā€”I feel your heart. Yes, I think at some level, we all are making changesā€”a beautiful thing! And what ever changes you are makingā€”Iā€™m there with you supportive all the way!
        Bloggers really are awesome! Thatā€™s been my experience. Grateful to have met you here, Nadine. Iā€™ll keep writing too.šŸ˜ŠšŸ’“šŸŒøšŸ¤—šŸŒ¼šŸ’“šŸ˜Š

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  12. May God always be your portion, for He alone is truly enough. I am sad to read this but rejoice that you know what is good for you and your positive energy resonates even in your sadness. Please know you are loved and cherished. Come visit, take a break, write, pause, ponder and find the missing pieces but remember we are always here. Be well my dear, I have known you briefly but you have touched my heart deeply.

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    1. Thank you, Gina. Your words are true. He alone is truly enoughā€”He is all there is! This is what gives me hope and courage…to go through the darkest of tunnels. But go I mustā€”and I must go alone. It encourages my heart knowing there are many wonderful folks here…reallyā€”I am overwhelmed with gratitude. The kindness and generosity of bloggers is awesome! We share our deep thoughts and Iā€™m convinced this makes the world a little bit brighter.
      Be well as well, you have also in a brief timeā€”touched my heart deeply!
      I will still visit and yes, write, pause and ponder indeed. Thank you, Gina.

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