Awakening

July 8, 2019

We sucked the juice out of life. Didn’t we. Greedily.

Until finally

choking on our own spit

the day arrived when emptiness,

an unintended visitor, moved into our home.

Now, this house is crowded. Too crowded.

I continue to throw pieces of myself away

In search of the thing I lost so long ago.

And suddenly, it’s cold.

I need warmth. No. I require warmth. And kindness…

Is there anything more heartbreakingβ€”wanting love, and yet refusing to let love in?

Chasing after love, and then discarding love?

The heart guarded

Chained to its past

Denies itself true intimacy for fear–

Losing what it already lost

Preferring instead the company of beggars.

I am no beggar.

Always, in love and gratitude for ALL of this existence even when I’m broken down. There is healing. And hope.

Nina πŸ™‚

Author: NZain

Survivor in training.

34 thoughts on “Awakening”

  1. Nina, this emptiness, so big that it fills up the room….. what an image. An image that fills up my heart too. You are expressing your feelings in this journey so powerfully and so beautifully. Another hug from me to you today sweet friend πŸ’›πŸ’•

    Liked by 1 person

    1. To say just how grateful I am for your kind and supportive words seems inadequate. πŸ™πŸ»πŸ€—πŸ™πŸ». Thank you, sweet friend for sharing this journey with me. I feel so blessedβ€”so to share the blessings with you is even more wonderful. πŸ’žπŸ’žπŸ’ž

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Well this just put a huge smile on my face! Thank you, Nour. You think others would benefit from this?
      What a lovely wish, eh? Eternal happiness. πŸ™πŸ» I wish the same for you, my friend.

      Like

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