July 8, 2019
We sucked the juice out of life. Didn’t we. Greedily.
choking on our own spit
the day arrived when emptiness,
an unintended visitor, moved into our home.
Now, this house is crowded. Too crowded.
I continue to throw pieces of myself away
In search of the thing I lost so long ago.
And suddenly, it’s cold.
I need warmth. No. I require warmth. And kindness…
Is there anything more heartbreaking—wanting love, and yet refusing to let love in?
Chasing after love, and then discarding love?
The heart guarded
Chained to its past
Denies itself true intimacy for fear–
Losing what it already lost
Preferring instead the company of beggars.
I am no beggar.
Always, in love and gratitude for ALL of this existence even when I’m broken down. There is healing. And hope.